Pete & Geri Scazzero

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On May 3-4, New Life Fellowship in Queen, NY, hosted the Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference. Nearly 300 pastors, leaders and spouses attended from over 10 nations and 25 states to hear rich teaching on Emotional Health and Contemplative Spirituality. The Pre-Conference on Marriage was held on May 2. Click here to hear Pete's summary.
Pete recently did an interview with Preaching Today were he shares some insights on the importance of becoming an emotionally healthy preacher. Click here to read the article.
Pete and Geri recently spoke a the Hawaiian Island Ministry Conference in Honolulu. Click here to listen to their talk on the importance of Emotional Heath for church leaders.
Geri had a fantastic weekend speaking to a gathering of Evangelical Pastor Church pastor wives in Colorado around I Quit and Emotionally Healthy Skills in October, 2011. She will be piloting our Emotionally Healthy Skills with a group of Evangelical Free leaders in Minnesota the second week of November as we prepare to release EH Skills to Loving Well 2.0 next March, 2012.
11/08/11

Emotionally Healthy Leadership: 8 Unique Challenges

I spent most of my adult life reading great leadership books. EHS led me on a journey, however, to recognize there were unique issues to church leadership that were rarely discussed. I have identified eight unique leadership challenges, each of which is powerful and far reaching in their implications. Each is worthy of a chapter or a book itself.  I have crafted them in the form of tensions that we hold as leaders.

1.     Dual Relationships- Supervision and Being Friends
We are a church family and we often hire our friends who then become our employees. The result is I become both your pastor/spiritual leader/supervisor and friend. Which is it? We hire people we mentor and then they become our employees with a contractual agreement and money is exchanged. We are naïve to admit that all things are equal. They are not when we have the power to fire or increase/decrease someone’s pay. The people we lead do not have the same power over us. Friends enjoy an equal power relationship.
Dual relationships create countless opportunities for misunderstandings. Am I saying, “Don’t ever do it?”  No, just do it with your eyes open.  The risk is enormous.  Failures and broken friendships abound in church leaderships around the world.

2.     Hiring/Firing and Being a Church Family
This is perhaps our most difficult challenge as church leaders.  To terminate a person in the corporate world is painful. In a church setting, it is excruciating.  We became pastors and leaders to serve and help people, not hurt them.   Yet if we don’t steward God’s resources well by hiring and firing well, we betray our people who trust we are leading well and doing the right thing.

3.     Strategic Planning and Waiting on God
Balancing the process of goal setting and the strategic planning process with prayerful discernment is no small task. What is God saying? What season are we in as a church/organization? What is God’s will for us? The fact that a door is open and we can do something does not mean it is His will for us now.  Jesus struggled with the will of the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane. He had to submit his will to the Father. How much more do we?

4.     Preaching/Teaching and Our Integrity
It is easy to preach what we are not living. I know. People trust we have spent the time with God in prayer and stillness to speak for Him publicly. People trust we are living what we are preaching. If we can’t say “Imitate me as I imitate Christ,” then we need to press the pause button. Investing time in our development and growth is perhaps the greatest contribution we make to our teaching and to our people.

5.     Leading the Church and the Marriage Vow
Ephesians 5:32 argues that our earthly marriage is a pointer of something beyond itself – of the profound mystery of Christ’s marriage to His bride, the church.  Our marriage, if we are married, is our most powerful message to our churches.  It is a sacrament, imaging something invisible! The marriage vow is both a limit and a gift. Like a monastic vow it informs all we do and every decision we make every day. To expand our churches as if we were single is a violation of Scripture and our vows.

6.     Social Media/Technology and the Ancient Church
God has called us, like the apostle Paul, to contextualize the gospel and bring Christ to our culture. That culture today is Twitter, blogging, Facebook and the worldwide web. At the same time we learn from the great cloud of witnesses who have preceded us. We learn from church history and the early church fathers (e.g. Ignatius of Antioch, Athanasius, Cyril of Alexandria, Basil, Gregory the Great, Augustine) who were leaders of local churches, theologians, and monks who prayed their theology. We are called to be an “Ancient/Future Church.”

7.     The Gift of Limits and Casting Vision
The issue of limits touches the core of our tendency to do our will not God’s, to rebel rather than submit, to grasp rather than surrender. Adam and Eve violated God’s limits. Jesus submitted to the Father’s in the wilderness. We are called to lead our people into the God’s future. We carry the tension, however, that we easily can take over Gods’ work for Him, violate His protective gift of limits, and unleash chaos into our churches. Remember: “a man can receive only what is given him from heaven” John 3:27.

8.     Listening to God in Our Losses and Leading by Faith
In every church relationships end, ministries die, dreams dissipate and leaders move on. Jeremiah, Jesus, Job, and David had a full-orbed theology for the disorientation that comes with loss and grieving. Integrating this into our Western church culture of leadership that is always growing and expanding to take the next hill is problematic. We are called to lead our people forward. The discernment question is whether that means leading them to listen to God internally first before moving into the next new initiative.

What might be other tensions that you would add to this list?

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  • http://www.epicchurch.tv IV Marsh

    Incredible words of wisdom my wife and I have read tonight. Insight into many areas that we as pastors do not practice and take seriously. We look forward to reading more.

    • Pete Scazzero

      Thank you very much. I have been working on the list for 3 and a 1/2 years and plan on making it a major part of our Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference this year.

  • http://www.rccggc.org Joseph

    I just wanted to personally thank Pete & Geri Scazzero for all they instilled in me in the early 90s. Thank you. I look forward to seeing you soon. You guys are the best.
    Shalom

  • Scott

    Peter,
    I hope you write more about dual relationships. While other helping professions work to protect its practitioners from this the pastor is overrun with them. How do we practice boundaries and survive these dual relationships? Thank you for speaking about this.

    • Pete Scazzero

      I do believe it is our work to set healthy boundaries like Christ for the sake of the people. But again, not simple when a culture exists of expecting the pastor to be available 24/7.

  • kurt

    Great post. Please write some about the dual-relationships of volunteers/lay leaders and pastors as it relates to the necessity of managing change within a community.

    • Pete Scazzero

      Yes.

      Will do. It is a great need. Nuances remain for me so I am not yet ready to put it into a formal book, but it sure is worth another blog!

  • Greg Verrier

    I am so very confused about the whole ‘Emotionally Healthy This” and ‘Emotionally Healthy That’. I understand the benefits of being emotionally healthy. At various points in my life I have struggled with anxiety and panic disorder, clinically depression, and had been diagnosed with ADHD. However, I have found as I have opened myself to the healing of God, Christ, and the Spirit, my emotionaly health improved. And that is not to say that I do not have struggles, but to say I need to be emotionally healthy to be spiritually mature is very misleading. I would say to the contrary, that with increased spiritual maturity one will find greater emotional health. Oh yeah it is true, that if we are emotionally unheathly, we are not spiritually mature. But to become spiritually mature we do not need to become emotionally healthy first. What we need to do is to become Spiritually mature, that is put our trust in the Spirit to help us grow and sanctify us. If we find we are a follower of Christ and we are not Spiritually mature, it should be a prompting that we may not be seeking God first and foremost. If we are not truly emptying ourselves and humbling ourselves before the Lord.

    In Christ -

    Greg Verrier

    • Anonymous

      I totally agree with you. I suffered from bi polar depression and struggle many a times to seek God in those low times but when I am functioning, I am able to pursue Him. I find that as I hunger for Him in His words and intimacy with Him, I am empowered by His Spirit to delight in Him all the more and to walk in His ways in obedience and freedom that leads me to greater emotional healing and spiritual growth with increasing fruit of the Holy Spirit. My physical life and soul life need to submit to the spirit life in Him.

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